Ms. Jackson if ya nasty

Music has always been a tremendous presence in my life and is what I call mental clothing. 

Whatever I'm listening to usually has a reason or emotion behind it. If anyone is ever at a loss for how I feel check my lastfm account. 

I've been playing a lot of Janet Jackson lately. She represents, to me anyways, sexual power and not having to feel incomplete or sad that you don't have a significant other. 

Ariana Grande speaks to the middle school/ high school John who was robbed of a lot of normal social moments and events because I went to a school that tolerated and accepted ignorance and bullying. I'll never know what it feels like to go to prom with your boyfriend, holding hands down the hallway or cutting class to have lunch together at a restaurant but artists like Ariana lets me feel like I know what those experiences would've felt like on a small scale. 

Beyoncé makes me feel powerful and is someone I usually only play when I'm feeling confident and in control. To me Beyoncé is the epitome of power and having it all. 

And Missy? Just cause she's fun. There is honestly no connection of a emotional nature with her music. I just like it and when I play her censored versions of her songs which barely have to be censored because she isn't swearing every other word or describing her female parts. 

I play a plethora of music in my room for the children to hear. I won't lie. 90% of the time I don't think they are even aware that any music is playing the background until I hear a child singing a song I play that isn't on the radio. Then I have a wow moment. 

Music is important on so many levels but diversity of music that is played in the classroom is the key and if you are someone who only listens to country or only listens to rap and can't expand your horizons someone else should be in charge of music. 

I play a lot of different genres. Classical, pop, rap, country, Broadway, opera. 

I don't believe that ANY CHILD SHOULD BE FORCED TO LISTEN TO A PATRONIZING CD THAT ONLY SINGS ABOUT BARNYARD ANIMALS, LETTERS AND NUMBERS. 

There is no educational or cultural value in constantly playing the wiggles or Dr. Jean. 

I believe there is a time and a place for that kind of the music and it shouldn't be on repeat all day. 

So many teachers miss the mark when it comes to musical education. Music can be harnessed to reach out to so many subject areas and can bridge so many intellectual, cultural, and societal gaps. 

I hear all the time “you play RAP?” 

Yes…yes I do. I have students where rap is part of their culture and I enjoy it myself.  Am I playing unedited Nicki Minaj and encouraging the children to twerk? No. There are always going to be artists that no matter how censored they are still wildly inappropriate. 

What I've noticed as the new trend in parenting when it comes to music they are judging it's worth based on how it sounds, not the lyrics. 

Worth It by fifth harmony was over played all summer and the message behind its ok for men to see you as a sex toy if the money is enough. 

I play Paramore and get raised eyebrows…

To teach their own. Personally I don't think children should be limited when it comes to art so long as the parent is a participant and can act as a fair filter. 

Happy thanksgiving! How many native Americans are still living?

I don't celebrate thanksgiving. I don't believe anyone really should given how ignorant people are about the real first thanksgiving because they were never told what actually happened and continued handing down misinformation, like the school system also teaching children partially or completely incorrect information regarding dinosaurs. 

When thanksgiving rolls around I utilize that time to celebrate native Americans. I wish I could I teach them the true story but that would inevitably blow up in my face. Americans in general are so attached to the idea of the symbiotic picturesque first thanksgiving that, when challenged they become irate, treat you like they suspect you of treason or terrorism and can usually only hear every other word you speak/type/ what have you. 

I fully respect other families’ choice to celebrate thanksgiving. Especially when the focus is on what we are truly thankful for.  It's a good spin on a horrific holiday. 

I also fully appreciate the people who could care one way or the other and just utilize the day as an excuse to excess amounts of food. I think the entire portion of the country that isn't in a state of poverty should rethink the eating excess part and instead donate food to shelters and the like. 

Someday, when I know I'm finished with teaching I will tell the truth about the first thanksgiving. I already have to reteach dinosaurs which truly puzzles me. 

How can you tell children information about animals that lived millions of years ago when it contradicts every fact scientists have been able to find. 

Dinosaurs are far from being figured out. Fossils can only tell a person so much. But, until I delved into the world of dinosaurs independently that I found out no one has any clue what color they actually are but I was taught they were colored with earth tones. It seemed plausible so I never questioned this “fact” I was given until I thought about what my teacher had said. Not only did we apparently know what color dinosaurs were but they were all the same color….*crickets*. …*blink blink* wouldn't we need preserved skin to tell us that? And considering skin doesn't fossilize how could my teacher possibly know what color they were or anything about them for that matter. 

I was slowly beginning to realize if I wanted real answers about real things I couldn't take my text book or teacher’s lessons as the absolute. I couldn't trust that, and not in malice, my teachers had the right answer on anything. 

As I'm sure you can imagine this got me its trouble quite a bit with teachers and peers. 

Jurassic Park had come out and on a weekend my mom took me and my brother to see it. I loved it. Still do. But the movie is not scientifically sound. I noted the changes the author of the book, the director, the writers, and the visual effects made. 

I was so excited that when I went into school that Monday I instantly wanted to talk about the movie. 

Well that feeling was quickly deflated when I explained the raptors were grossly enhanced for the fear factor. In the eyes of my peers a movie couldn't be wrong but I sure could!

Many years later I'm still a dinosaur nerd and I finally get to teach children about them and how they are still so much a mystery that scientists have millions more questions than answers. That's what makes it fun. The not knowing and making an educated guess. 

Let me steer this back to thanksgiving. Like I said, I don't practice it. I can't practice something that never happened. But I can teach children about native Americans, their traditions, their appreciation and devotion to nature. If I were to teach about the pilgrims what could I honestly say?

“Well kids some very white people with a sense of entitlement used the native Americans to figure out how to live off the land and once that was mastered decided murdering them, sending them back to family members to be used as slaves, and raping the women the best next course of action. Then, once we thinned out the herd we took everything from them including any and all land so the very white ignorant people could continue to produce more ignorant entitled beasts”

And don't even get me started on Christopher Columbus who's only talent was getting really lost and claiming land that he had no right to and mislabeling the native race. 

Your so gay and you don't even like boys

After many years in the workforce and having watched my fair share of low budget, poorly made videos I have finally been sexually harassed. 

No, not by someone I work with. I work with all women. By a parent, and a female parent to boot!

I'm fairly oblivious when a guy flirts with me and even if I do catch on I usually doubt myself and don't engage. So I'm sure you can see a very obvious homosexual male would never even think a woman would hit on me. But and sadly it happened. 

I so wish I could say this was a joke or that I'm doing anything I possibly can to get attention. But I'm not. 

I was asked out on a date by a female parent of a student that I don't teach. She had it all planned out and told me she even had a babysitter.

Naturally I panicked after it hit me that she wasn't playing a joke on me and my brain quickly shot back with “Oh I'd love to but my boyfriend is getting home from the city and we’re going to spend the weekend together!”.  I'm sure it came out sort of howler monkey sounding but I didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel embarrassed that she couldn't tell I'm gay. 

I hold no dilutions about people being able to tell I'm gay. I don't even have to bat an eye lash and people know. I fall into several of the stereotypes: loving Babs and Cher, my favorite color is pink, I wear skin tight pants…I could keep going but I think you get the picture. 

Well I thought I had dodged that bullet until the mother took a small issue and used it as a way to scream at me and almost hit me in front of children. 

Then the texts started coming. 

Not the kind you'd expect either. 

She sent me text after text about how I wasn't actually gay and was pretending to be and what a horrible person I was. 

I didn't respond. I simply sent them to my boss. 

Our Halloween party came and went and, once again I thought the issue was put to rest. 

Wrong!

She sent me more texts like the first one and then started sending me inappropriate pictures of herself. 

Now I wait. I wait for this clearly unstable young woman to call the state on my school and fabricate stories that will be investigated and come to nothing other than a waste of everyone's time. 

Which brings me to another issue I hadn't really considered until today. Why is it that in the field of child care you are guilty until proven? Why do parents always have the upper hand and teachers like me are at their mercy?

Yes I'm aware that the children belong to their parents and by no means am I saying or implying that a parents isn't entitled to their opinion. I'm just baffled by the inequity. 

The way our country handles accusations with teachers is ridiculous. 

If a child should go home and talk about their day with their parents and the child says something that could be interpreted as something reportable why don't parents speak with teachers and care givers first? 

I've been working with children for years and any intelligent parent would talk to the teacher first. 

I've always loved working with children but their cognitive ability to verbally recount the day is usually non existent. For example, every morning I ask the children what they had for dinner. Out of the group one can remember. They now know that I'm going to ask this question yet still don't have the ability to remind themselves to commit to memory their meal. This is age appropriate. 

I guess I'm lucky in a way. It's been a very long time since I've had a parent loath me. I just wish this particular parent had let myself and the educators fully do our job. We are suppose to be a support system for them.

This entire situation is beyond words.  

I will say that if she calls the state on where I work I will destroy her. Where I work now is one of the best schools I've worked at. I know if she does call the state anything she says won't be able to be taken seriously and all we be unfounded. But if you're going to poke a tiger be ready to be pounced on

Don't make me your enemy

This week served as proof that even I couldn't deny that I've made progress, am changing, and figuring out the puzzle that is bipolar disorder. 

The person I was a year ago would've torn anyone who questioned my ability to care for and teach children to ribbons at any cost, even the cost of my job. 

The person I am now was able to hold back all the venomous (albeit true) facts and observations that I would've spat just to hurt the other person. 

It's much more difficult than people think to have interactions with people without acting like each and every differing opinion or disagreement is a world war and I'm the battle leader. I work hard to keep myself in check and when you have bipolar disorder sometimes it's impossible to know if you were successful at doing this. 

You extend so much trust in the people around you to tell you the truth, good or bad. I guess I can't explain it any other way than a blind person trying to get dressed for a specific event left alone without help to try and figure out what he should wear. 

Sometimes I miss the vicious person I would revert to at the slightest drop of negativity, and that part of me is alive and well, I held him back when I was attacked this week. I can see clearly now why that part of me really accomplishes nothing other than usually making the problem worse or making me feel good for a few hours. 

Now I've got other weapons and strategies in my arsenal that actually work but most importantly I'm not hurting anyone I care about. 

Wicked witch

I've been in the education field for almost 12 years. 

I've seen every kind of parent imaginable and even some your wildest dreams couldn't even conjure up. 

I am not a parent. I could dilute myself into thinking I'm mommy to my beloved parrot but I don't see the point. 

I may never know what it's truly like to have my own child and truly experience the vastness that parenthood is. On this matter I'm ambivalent. 

But if there is one fact that cannot be disputed it's that I know children in a professional capacity. 

I don't think it hinders my ability to teach, care for, and form attachments with my students. I've seen parents who make incredible teachers and parents who are teachers but would be better suited to bagging groceries. We're all human and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. 

Today, just when I thought I'd seen it all I was attacked by a parent. 

Why? You might ask. For wanting to clarify to what degree her child wasn't able to participate in our Halloween festivities. 

I pity this parent to whom I refer to as parent as only to clarify that the child in this situation is biologically hers. I do not consider her a parent. 

To be a parent by my definition you have to put your child's needs above yours no matter what circumstance you are playing victim to. 

As this parent screamed at me, child on her hip, questioning my ability to read, proclaiming I was stupid, and trying to be the child's father who had recently met his untimely but now understandable demise, the room around me started to slow down. 

I looked at the child and I was shocked that she didn't so much as bat an eyelash at her mother swearing and giving a tongue lashing to another adult. 

How tragic that this child has this adult and this adult only as a role model. 

My mother was and is a single mother herself. I look up to her because of the examples she set before me and I became the respectful person I am today by being taught early on yelling, screaming, and verbally abusing someone wasn't always the appropriate way to deal with a situation. Sometimes compassion, understanding, and putting yourself in that person’s shoes would get you farther. 

As I repeated what my intention was by sending out a mass text to all parents about our Halloween festivities over and over it became increasingly clear to me this women had no intention of breaking the cycle of victimization and verbal abuse. 

She, no matter what I do or say or suggest, is going to take a sweet innocent child and make her toxic just like herself. 

Her opinion of me really has no baring on how I see myself as an educator. Her child isn't even my student. If calling me stupid and questioning whether or not I had basic skills and abilities makes her feel better about herself what can I do? 

I could spit out a baker’s dozen of insults right back but I don't want to show her child that everyone in the world is like her mother. 

Extinct

I've been in the field of child care for almost 12 years in various roles. Assistant, floater, lead floater, lead, and sometimes just a warm body in the corner that counted as maintaining ratio. 

I've worked with ages as young as 6 months and as old as 12. 

In my career I have watched the slow but consistent degradation of what a child care establishment could be thanks to the state but this round of changes and adjustments to the already lengthy packet of rules and regulations have really inhibited what a teacher can do and has made many teachers walk away to what I consider lesser jobs such as retail to avoid the micromanagement of the state. 

When one looks at what the state the expects and demands from a teacher or the like and holds it next to what teachers make (which is below the poverty level) it doesn't add up. 

I'm exploring the theme of Dinosaurs with my students because with the bluray release of Jurassic World the interest has been reignited. 

No, I don't expect to show the children the movie and yes I can see why parents would have opposition to that idea considering we live in a society where mollycoddling is the most popular parenting style. 

I have 3 educational miniseries on DVD on dinosaurs that I have utilized as a teaching tool for years. It's still quite amazing and captivating to children year after year. It is solely educational documentaries. 

It serves a purpose (no, not sitting children in front of the tv and turn the tv into a babysitter) and provides information I either cannot or have no way to. It's not as if I can have all the children hop on a bus magic school bus style and have them see actual dinosaurs. Walking with dinosaurs is as close as it will get to seeing an extinct species in action. 

The state has decided that one area that deserved their attention was movies and their use. Movies are not allowed to be shown for entertainment purposes and must be theme related. 

It boils my blood that some big wig from the state who is so far removed from what childcare actually is has the final say as to whether or not a visual aid I chose is or is not of value. 

Most OCFS workers wouldn't know the educational worth of a text book let alone a few miniseries. 

The state expects people like myself to obtain a CDA credential. It takes about a year and makes anyone who completes it eligible to be a lead teacher. 

But is there really any need for a lead teacher when the state is making decisions for us? How long before the state starts handing out curriculum and lesson plans so any pride or joy you could take from your work is completely obliterated?

I'm also so very tired of hearing people discuss STEM when the states as made it impossible to in cooperate it into our classroom as there is no wiggle room on the use of tablets and computers. 

Government and education should be separate. And no human being willing to work a thousand times harder than any McDonalds worker but earns minimum wage should be poked, prodded, and micro managed by disillusioned has been teachers. 

Jurassic World

I had a student today pick up my paperback copy of Jurassic Park. I didn't run to snatch it out of their hands because I use a magnetic bookmark and even if they had taken it out the exploration of real literature was worth the possible cost me having to reread a few pages to find my spot. 

They looked at the cover and felt the once again familiar Jurassic Park logo embossed on the cover. Then they peered inside, wide eyed at how many pages there were and how the closest thing to a picture were charts. 

They put the book on my lap and after giving me a once over said “Mr. John? Why do you like to read so much?” 

“Um well there's a bunch of answers to that question but mostly because it's one of the only things I'm good at and let's me escape” I answered. 

The child looked perplexed and then looked down at the book again. 

“Escape? Why do you want to escape?” The child said sitting down next to me. I don't believe in lying to children. If people had been more truthful with me about what was to come the road would have been a lot less bumpy. 

I looked at my student and I said “because sometimes where you are can get boring or make you sad but you can't really leave. And even if you could you probably wouldn't want to so I guess it's more like a break” 

The student looked down at the book again and winced at the silhouetted dinosaur on the front cover and look back up at me. “Well you must be really sad or bored to want to take a break where dinosaurs could eat you”